Have you ever tried using positive affirmations before? Did they work for you? Or did you give it a shot and finally conclude that they don’t work!
I know some people who swear by them and have seen
some wonderful results using them. I unfortunately, belonged to the other set!
I did them ever so obediently for 3 years and then came to the conclusion that
they don’t work. And was therefore not ready to buy the explanation that many
people give. They say you must not have done them enough number of times!
My colleague on the other hand, has had great
success with them. Which intrigued my interest a few years back. I wanted to
know why they work for some and not for others. And you know what, I found a
number of reasons which I am going to share with you today! Ready…
Why Positive Affirmations Don’t Work
It’s actually got a lot to do with your
Personality. I realised there was a stark difference in my and my colleague’s
personality. He was a happy go lucky kind of guy and somehow his mind would
believe what he told it. I, on the other hand, had a mind which loved to refute
every positive affirmation I gave it. And instead of helping me, it actually aggravated
the already raging war inside me!
Previously I had to manage a mind which kept repeating
like a tape-recorder how I was ‘not good enough.’ But now I also had it tell me
how I was even worse as I was trying to believe a silly statement like ‘I am
fine the way I am’ which I knew was untrue. Also, I was a failure as I was unable
to make use of positive affirmations when the rest of the world was doing it so
well. Along with, I was wasting my time for continuing the positive
affirmations that don’t work. All of which was too much to handle!
How to make Positive Affirmations work for you
I have been experimenting on how to create
change in our lives since some time now and make it a point to share what I
have learned in the soft skills training programs that I deliver. I have tried
a number of different techniques on myself and have had some inferences:
1. Positive Affirmations can work. How? By first dealing with the voice in your head that refutes them. This can be done by a number of tools that help you get aware of and accept your beliefs. My favourite techniques are Mindfulness and the Emotional Freedom Technique. I use them all the time. And I’ve seen that they work like a charm especially for emotional people like me!
2. Instead of only using Positive Affirmations also use Affirmations. Confused? Let me explain. Positive Affirmations are, well, positive. They are positive sentences which are supposed to include only positive words. And this you affirm by repeating a number of times. I have realised that if you affirm a statement in the format ‘Its ok to feel (sad/angry, etc.)’or ‘Its ok to be (anxious, disappointed, etc.)’ it helps create acceptance. This helps process and settle the negative emotions that fuel the voice in our head that opposes the positive affirmations. It’s about clearing the negative to make way for the positive.
3. Now use positive affirmations. Now once the awareness and acceptance bits are done, you can safely use positive affirmations. This is important as it means you now have the right energy to move into them. Its like removing the brakes that was retarding your forward motion. Which also accelerates the motion the positive affirmations can now create. And you’ll find that you move ahead with motivation and minimal effort towards your desired goal.
