I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. She was telling me about some of her workplace issues. And being in this industry since quite some time now, I recommended a behavioural skills training to her.
My friend had been working in a large multinational since the past 10 odd years. She had loved working there till the last time I met her, which was a year back. However things were drastically different now. She hated going to work and had started to feel like she had become a really nasty version of herself!
So what had happened in the past 1 year to bring about the change? A new colleague had joined. This new lady was typically a strong personality who liked to take charge of things and also as my friend put it, people around her! She wanted things done her way and would go to any length at arguing to get them. She would not listen to anyone and getting across to her was a real job.
This behaviour of hers was not just troubling her team members but also those from other departments. As a result, there were many conflicts, the aggressive ones along with the ‘artificial harmony’ ones as we call them in the training world. People would spend large amounts of time talking about her difficult behaviour which was spreading negativity and bad blood at a fast pace through the organisation. Even her manager had tried talking to her multiple times but was left in vain.
This was a classic case of a need of a behavioural skills training as well as communication skills training. Now why behavioural skills training and not just a one on one coaching for the person causing the trouble? Because everyone needed to be adept at handling such people.
There are various types of people in this world. Some are aggressive while others withdraw during a conflict. Many people think that withdrawal is a good option. Frankly, both of them are not great positions. Why? Because they are both not solution oriented so at that point conflict management training is important. While one adds to the conflict directly, the other in trying to keep away from it actually adds fire to it unknowingly. By not speaking about what you feel, you actually store negative emotions in your system which alter your behaviour towards the person. The person in turn senses that energy and starts further altering their behaviour towards you. This results in a negative spiral that just keeps getting worse. And one fine day may actually end in an emotional explosion when least expected!
So if you ask me, behavioural skills training was the need at both ends, for the aggressive lady and the others. The lady needed to understand how she was coming across to others and how it was affecting people around her. The others needed to learn how to effectively deal with conflict and have difficult conversations rather than shying away from them.
Such issues crop up at home and in the workplace very often. Whether aggressive wars or silent cold ones, they all need to be sorted out effectively. And the art can be learned in behavioural skills training programs and practiced post that. If you and your team needs such a session, sign up for our skillful conversations session today.
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